In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Marriage is meant to be a source of mercy, tranquility, and peace that you find within each other. Allah has created you from one another so that you can discover these attributes, as Allah states:
"And from among His signs is that He created from among yourselves wives, that you may find repose in them, and He has placed between you affection and mercy." (30:21)
Allah is informing the man that He has created from himself a mate so that he can find tranquility, and that between these two slaves of Allah, He has placed mercy and affection. Mercy and affection are part of the pillars that hold up this beautiful institution of Marriage. The only way one finds this affection and mercy is that one places Allah and His Messenger at the center of this relationship.
When Allah and His Messenger are placed at the center of this relationship, then they both comprehend, that they are each personally responsible to Allah for their own actions within this marriage. No one can blame the other, as no soul will bare the burden of another soul on the day of judgment.
We will all be completely responsible and answerable for our own actions. As long as this is the foundation of the marriage, then that marriage will either be sound and beautiful, or if Allah forbid, both couples decide that they are not really fit for one another, then, their separation will still be amicable.
Allah states in His Glorious and Noble book:
"Keep them in kindness or release them in kindness."
In this verse, Allah is ordering us with kindness during the marriage and divorce process. Now and days, at the time of divorce, we see some of the ugliest traits and characteristics appear. Both the husband and the wife try to destroy one another, but the reality is that such a relationship did not start with Allah and His Messenger at the center of it.
Such a relationship that ends upon such ugly behavior, is a relationship that was devoid of Allah and His Messenger, because Allah has ordered us to be amicable with one another even during the divorce process.
We must realize that no matter what the situation is, you are dealing with another Muslim, with someone who remains being your brother or sister in Islam, and someone whom you should still desire to be from the inhabitants of paradise.
If you truly understand this concept, then you will be from those who apply justice in all that you do, even during one the most difficult times in life, which can be divorce, especially for those couples with children. Always remember that you are living examples of these principals for your children. Apply them right, and your children will follow in your blessed footsteps. Apply them wrong, and you will see the same negative effects upon your children, and their future relationships, if they are not blessed by Allah to see past the negative behavior portrayed by their parents.
Remember, in marriage and divorce, you are responsible for your own actions. Lets make sure that we place Allah and His Messenger first, so that when we, meet Allah, we will find Him well pleased with us.
May Allah bless you all,
AbdurRazzaq Abu Sumayyah Lebron
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